Much
like the “runner’s high”, sub-space is a state
of mind where the spankee experiences a form of euphoria. The pain
is no longer painful. It is now an integral part of the experience.
For most people into spanking, this is the ultimate goal.
Why is sub-space important?
Since a spanking fetish is something that develops in childhood,
one of the goals of a spanking role-play is to recreate the feelings
and emotions one experienced as a child (or wish they experienced
as a child) in order to deal with them as an adult.
The reason I mention “wish they experienced” is because
there are spanking fetishists who were never spanked as a child.
Instead, they were beaten or abused. The spanking fetish is then
a reaction to a secret desire to be punished “normally”
or “with love”. These elements of the spanking experience
are at the core of achieving sub-space. The individual being spanked
has a deep desire to be loved and cared for. This is especially
true in females into spanking.
The idea that “this spanking is for your own good”
or “this hurts me more than it hurts you” holds true
for a spanking enthusiast. A person being spanked wants to know
that the person spanking them is doing it because they care about
them. They are spanking them to improve their behavior because they
are genuinely concerned about their wellbeing.
The person who is being spanked wants to be transported into that
surreal place where these deep desires are satisfied. They want
to be transported into sub-space.
The Importance of Role-play
Role-play can be essential in achieving sub-space. Setting the scene
can really help in creating an environment a spanking enthusiast
can get lost in. Many spanking enthusiasts have particular fantasies
they wish to reenact. These can range from a recreation of an actual
event that really occurred to them, to something they saw happen
to someone else, to the construction of an entirely contrived scenario.
The only limits are the players imaginations and willingness to
let go.
Some favorite scenarios include, “Mother/Child”, “Father/Child”,
“Teacher/Student”, “Aunt/Teenager”, Boss/Employee”,
“Nurse/Patient”, “Nanny-Babysitter/Brat”,
and “Husband/Wife”. While different in structure, the
one consistent thing all these scenarios share in common is that
they all involve a loving, concerned top punishing a deserving bottom.
The Role of a Good Top
A good top is essential in achieving sub-space. The top is basically
the captain of the ship that will guide you there. Ultimately, it
is the willingness of the bottom that will eventually lead to sub-space,
but without a good top, true sub-space is impossible.
As I mentioned above, a bottom needs to know that the top is spanking
them with good intentions. They need to know that they have done
something wrong that deserves punishment and the top is providing
that punishment because they truly care for them.
Regardless of the scenario, the top must play a convincing role
in order to guide the bottom into sub-space. The better your acting,
the more convincing you are as that character.
A top must be very cognizant of the bottom’s pain threshold.
Too much or too little and the bottom will slip out of sub-space.
A good top can read the bottom’s reactions and body language.
The top knows when to spank and when to rub. They know how hard
to spank and for how long. They know what to say and when to say
it. They play their partner like a musical instrument. They are
experts in the art of finesse.
Choose your tops wisely. Many people honestly believe they are
a good top, but in fact, are not. We’ve all been to a Karaoke
Bar and seen someone up there singing like they’re the world
greatest. They have no idea how bad they are. Tone deaf, off key
and off rhythm. They truly believe they have talent and just don’t
know any better. They same is true for spanking tops.
I have run across dozens of tops who honestly believe they know
what they are doing, when in fact are some of the worst spankers
ever. Remember the agony and discomfort the lousy Karaoke singer
made you feel. Well multiply that times ten and that’s how
you’ll feel over the knee of an unskilled spanker.
Remember it takes years of practice and education to become a
great musician or artist. The same is true with spanking. To be
a good top, you need to learn, practice, be attentive, open to feedback
and humble. Good tops spank to give pleasure, not to satisfy their
own ego.
The Role of a Good Bottom
The bottom ultimately has final say whether subspace will be achieved.
No matter how good the top is, if the bottom isn’t willing
to go there, it’s not going to happen.
A good bottom knows how to choose their tops wisely. They understand
what kind of spanking scenario works for them and are not afraid
to give detailed descriptions of the spanking they would like to
receive. The more communication, the better the interaction.
Bottom and Top should talk way before starting the scene. In that
way, both players can focus on the spanking at hand without any
real interruption. Discuss medical and physical conditions that
might impact the play. Don’t forget to mention any medication
you are taking, physical ailments, back problems, and/or long term
conditions like diabetes.
It’s also important to express any emotional issues that
could trigger a negative reaction. For example, if a lady has just
experienced the loss of her dad, there’s a good chance a father/daughter
type scenario would be a mood killer. Same thing goes with verbiage.
Certain words or references can trigger angry memories. Anger will
take you right out of sub-space. Remember no one is a mind reader.
It’s your job as a bottom to speak up.
Stay present in the moment with your spanking partner. Don’t
think about what you did an hour ago or what you need to do tomorrow.
Just imagine you are that person you are role playing or get in
touch with your own inner naughty boy or girl. How does it feel
to be getting a spanking? Are you ashamed? Embarrassed? Feeling
sorry? Use the same tools of an actor: dig deep inside and use your
sense memories to imagine times when you were actually being punished
or chastised. Feel the sensations and emotions evoked. Let yourself
go and get lost in the scenario.
Relax your body and give yourself over to the punishment at hand.
Don’t try and make anything happen. You need to just go with
the flow and let your body take over. As you give up control, you
will notice certain sensations happening all over your body. Stay
there and don’t go into your head. Allow yourself to experience
all the emotions that come from getting spanked ranging from argumentative
to compliant to true remorse and acceptance.
A spanking should feel like a complete experience. Though no one
initially wants the spanking, at the end there is a feeling of relief.
With the relief, comes true catharsis.
Degrees of Sub-space
Sub-space can occur on many levels. Some people can go very deep
into sub-space. So deep that they are able to cry for real, age
regress or even have a complete personality transformation. I’ve
seen it all. It is truly amazing and can be quite beautiful.
Not everyone can go that deep into sub-space and may never achieve
that deep a level. But that doesn’t mean they don’t
go into sub-space. Like I said, sub-space can occur on many levels.
Level One: For anyone who has ever attended a
spanking party, you have witnessed first hand the first degree of
sub-space. This is where the bottom merely relinquishes themselves
to another person for a spanking. They are simply saying “It’s
OK to spank me.” While the spanking may be light and playful,
the bottom has conceded to it.
There is a definite mind set for this level of exchange. Ask any
ordinary person on the street if you can spank them and see what
they say. The average person will not concede to let this happen
to them. They do not have the capability for the sub-space mindset.
Top-only players are the same way. Most likely the degree of embarrassment
or loss of power position is stronger than their need for the sub-space
experience. They, instead, receive satisfaction from a completely
different point of view. But that’s a topic for a different
article.
Level One sub-space occurs in a fun playful spanking setting.
A birthday spanking is a good example. Even a person who is not
into spanking may allow you to give them a birthday spanking. While
they derive no sexual or emotional gratification from this exchange,
they do, in fact have to adapt a mind set that allows them to let
themselves submit to a spanking. Unfortunately, this is where their
ability ends. Only a true spanking enthusiast will be able to move
on to the next level of sub-space.
Level Two: The next level of sub-space occurs
where the bottom is willing to submit to a spanking that pushes
their pain threshold. While this type of spanking can still occur
in the public arena, it is more common in private play.
In a more intimate setting, with a top you trust, a bottom is
free to really allow themselves to sink a little deeper into sub-space.
One can let themselves go and have stronger emotions. These can
include such mind frames as “the brat”, “the naughty
boy or girl” or “the helpless victim”.
In any case the spanking will hurt to a certain point and allow
the bottom to feel really punished. Keep in mind that there are
many degrees of punishment and it is up to both players to convey
and control how far the limits are pushed. Different people require
different levels of pain and embarrassment to achieve the second
level of sub-space. Too little and it seems ingenuine, too much
and the mood is broken.
I suggest you take it easy at first and build slowly. Practice
makes perfect. The best spanking experiences are the exchanges between
lovers and close friends. The level of trust is high so the level
of potential sub-space is high.
It can also be a fun and exciting to experience this level of
play in the public arena. To be publicly spanked to the point where
you are embarrassed and uncomfortable can be quite intense. Having
one’s bare bottom exposed for all to see is difficult enough,
but getting scolded and spanked to the point where you are truly
uncomfortable requires a significant level of sub-space.
For a spanking enthusiast, a public spanking at this level can
be a real rush. But without the right mindset, it could also be
a horrible and traumatic experience. So be careful. Don’t
let anyone put you in this position unless you are really prepared
for it. Even then, have a safe word ready.
Level Three: This level of sub-space wears several
faces but has one consistent element. The bottom is pushed to a
level where they relinquish total control. Let me emphasize that
this level of play is not for everyone and should not be attempted
unless both players are very experienced, have known each other
for quite some time, are not under the influence and are hopefully
in some type of loving relationship with each other.
Level Three sub-space is achieved when a bottom is taken to a
place where they secretly desire to go. Level Three is the ultimate
spanking experience. It is the orgasm of spanking, so to speak.
At Level Three, the bottom is able to completely revert back to
the emotions they experienced in childhood. They are no reliving
the exact emotional experience they had as a child. This is where
the mind can now feel what it felt as a child but deal with it as
an adult. The result is cathartic.
Level Three sub-space is a healing process. This is the place
where you are able to feel the spanking as something truly loving.
You will feel punished but in a caring way. The relief comes in
finally getting what you consciously or subconsciously have felt
was lacking. There’s a feeling of getting re-parented and
being truly nurtured. There’s a true symbiotic experience
that occurs with you and your spanker. Together, you achieve a spanking
nirvana.
Sub-space in Spanking Movies
I have experienced all types and levels of role-play. Whether it
has been personally, as a witness or as a movie maker, I’ve
literally seen it all. My goal as a spanking video producer is to
capture an authentic spanking as accurately as possible. Like mainstream
filmmakers, I try to create imagery that both looks and feels as
real as possible.
Sub-space in a spanking movie is far more difficult to achieve
than it is in private spanking play. In a private spanking session,
the bottom is less exposed and may feel less inhibited. On camera,
a bottom is very aware of lights, cameras and crew. Since it can
be very embarrassing for a spanking enthusiast to show their vulnerable
side, it is practically impossible to capture true sub-space on
camera.
However, this doesn’t mean we haven’t done it. In
fact, I’m proud to say we’ve captured sub-space, true
sub-space, on camera many times. It’s incredible. It requires
very special performers. The kind of performers who are really into
it and are genuinely committed to the scene.
How To Achieve Perfect Subspace
The mechanics to achieving perfect sub-space will vary for each
individual. The most important thing is to cater the process to
yourself. Try to focus on what you require to get there. Don’t
be afraid of exploring and letting yourself go. While there are
no set rules for achieving perfect sub-space, here a few guideline
that you will find helpful.
- Begin with a good top.
- Develop a loving and trusting relationship.
- Start slow and build over time.
- Read spanking stories and watch spanking movies.
- Practice role-play.
- Learn spanking verbiage.
- Learn to use implements properly.
Sub-space is a very special and wonderful experience. It is exciting,
gratifying and healing. It is the ultimate gift you can give to
a spanking enthusiast and to yourself. Play safe, have fun and I’ll
see you in sub-space.
- Vinnie Spitliano |